ZetaTalk: Hale-Bopp

ZetaTalk dated November 24, 1996

Since the public has finally been roused and has come to notice that the dramatic pictures of Hale-Bopp, so much on the Internet and in the media in the early days, are now absent without adequate explanation, we predict that the single individual, the NASA Principal Investigator who has been given exclusive rights to Hubble pictures of Hale-Bopp, will come forward and grant the public a look at these prizes. However, these pictures will be of times long past, preferably months ago, and will not be pictures of dates announced ahead of time so that the public might correlate their own observations with those of the Hubble. It will be "take our word for it, this is what it looked like". The Hubble's schedule will be kept a close secret. How dare you ask, you just pay for it!

Since Hale-Bopp advocates have diminished down to a precious few, in light of the increasing embarrassment those trying to hold to the party line are experiencing, and as our emissary Nancy has pointed out the thinning ranks, we predict that some prestigious individuals will come forth, descending from their ivory towers to enlighten the masses, and explain away:

Why Hale-Bopp could be a comet that outgassed violently out beyond Jupiter, when such instability stands at odds with its being a repeater at all.
Why Hale-Bopp outgassed violently out beyond Jupiter, but ceases this activity the closer it gets to the Sun.
How Brian Marsden could announce the orbital period of a comet to be between 3,000 and 4,000 years, based on the orbital element calculated between 1993 and 1995, and yet the orbit of Hale-Bopp has skewed around mightily, undergoing almost daily changes, so that the unstable Hale-Bopp orbit today looks nothing like the original orbit Marsden announced and predicated upon.
Why it is that NASA and JPL, so proud of Hale-Bopp they went front page with it in 1995, then gave exclusive rights to a Principal Investigator who holds and hides all Hubble pictures of Hale-Bopp. Didn't they know the man? Or was he chosen for this very propensity?
Why the blackout on Hale-Bopp is closing in the closer this "comet of the century" gets to giving us the "glorious show" that was predicted. Shouldn't we be opening the windows wide, and pointing to this glory so that all can see?
Why all the Hale-Bopp touters are finding they have "no time" to put pictures on their web sites or have to go fishing or whatever. Who's going to be left in the end? Probably the illusive and reclusive PI who holds the Hubble pictures. We must all wait a year to find out why Hale-Bopp didn't show as expected. Alas, he's probably going to take these pictures to his mountain cabin and have a fire!
How it is that NASA and JPL can do an about face on life on Mars, suddenly deciding they must go to Mars and will photo those artifacts that demonstrate intelligence once walks about up there - yet they weren't liars before. If they lied then about life on Mars, then why is it not possible for them to be lying now about Hale-Bopp?

We predict that the prestigious individuals who come forth will not address any of these questions screaming to be answered. They will pontificate, and refuse to debate or respond, and then leave. This is what we predict.